The PGA TOUR schedule, according to the PowerFade

March 15, 2015

Frys.com Open
LG: “Meet the newest first time winner on tour” I have a soft spot for this tournament because it was the first TOUR event I ever attended outside of the Presidents Cup.  However, since it moved from CordeValle, not sure I care that much.
JK: “Rocco Mediate, 4 hole-out eagles in one tournament (one of them an ace), and he wins by one. That should tell you all you need to know.”

PGA Grand Slam of Golf
LG: “hardest tournament to get into, but even if you do, no one’s watching”
JK: “Seriously? We’re talking about this?”

Shriners Hospitals for Children Open (TPC Summerlin)
LG: “the PGA TOUR teaches you how to play hungover”
JK: “It’s like I’m a mirror; I’m bringing sexy back. But I need to get iN SYNC with what goes around. Catch my drift?”

The McGladrey Classic (Sea Island)
LG: “Unreal course, but I’m still not watching”
JK: “The McNoName FTW.”

CIMB Classic (Kuala Lumpur)
LG: “I thought this was a European tour event”
JK: “aka no television coverage during the hours we watch golf.”

Sanderson Farms Championship (Jackson, MS)
LG: LG’s Dad: “that course looks like crap on TV”
JK: “The White Supremacist Tour stop”

WGC – HSBC Champions (Shanghai)
LG: “Rory’s playing? I’ll watch”
JK: “Look, Rory is going to win if it’s in Dubai or Shanghai. Just give him the trophy and let’s move on.”

OHL Classic at Mayakoba
LG: “I think they played the big break there once?”
JK: “WTF is OHL? I thought this was an LPGA major?”

Hero World Challenge
LG: “18 man field? Hard to call this a TOUR event, but worth watching”
JK: “TIGER’S TOURNAMENT (that Zach Johnson wins most of the time).”

Franklin Templeton Shootout
LG: “pretty sure I’ve never watched this”
JK: “hey, guys…our tournament is crap. How can be create more buzz? OH, I KNOW! Let’s call it a ‘shootout’ instead of ‘championship.'”

Hyundai Tournament of Champions (Kapalua)
LG: “one of the most fun tournaments of the year to watch”
JK: “400 yard drives and ridiculous winds make this one of the most fun events of the year, if you can manage to catch one of the rare times it’s televised.”

Sony Open in Hawaii
LG: “golf porn for midwesterners/anyone that doesn’t live in CA”
JK: “it’s like a preview of a retirement community in florida, but with PGA Tour-level golf being played. BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRINNNNNG”

Humana Challenge (PGA West)
LG: “over under on -22 to win?”
JK: “I can’t believe that guy shot that number on that course. un-freaking-believable. These guys really are good”

Waste Management Phoenix Open (TPC Scottsdale)
LG: “Frat party, meet golf”
JK: “Nothing says booze like Charlie Hoffman and a frat party. Allllllll-right!”

Farmers Insurance Open (Torrey Pines)
LG: “Tiger’s first win of the year”
JK: “Hey, let’s randomly play one round on this really easy course right next to the US Open venue. That’ll be fun!”

AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am
LG: “golf porn for everyone everywhere all the time ever”
JK: “still not exactly sure how this tournament works, but a guy wins it every year.”

Northern Trust Open (Riviera)
LG: “JK, when are we going to play Riviera?? Also, Fred Couples is on TV again, and hey, there’s a video of Ben Hogan”
JK: “‘LG, can’t you get us on at Riviera?’ is stated every. single. year.”

The Honda Classic (PGA National)
LG: “first tournament of the year where you know there’s going to be a lot of big names jammed at the top”
JK: “I keep waiting for one of the NBC announcers to slip up and say ‘WELCOME, TO AMERICA’S WANG!'”

Puerto Rico Open
LG: “Hey, I thought they were playing in Florida this week?”
JK: “You’re so B-string on this TOUR that you have to go to another country to play a US event. That should tell you something. (well, I guess it is a US Territory, but still…it aint a 50 state…)”

WGC – Cadillac Championship (Doral)
LG: “fewest water balls wins”
JK: “Look, Donald Trump is going to inject his faux hair into golf at some point. Let’s just make it here, before the season gets going, and then we’ll be good.”

Valspar Championship (Innisbrook)
LG: “let’s see if we can make up another stupid name for a set of three hard holes”
JK: “How many commercials can you sit through about paint? Readddyyy….go!”

Arnold Palmer Invitational (Bay Hill)
LG: “Tiger’s second win of the year…Also, an amazing venue and fun tournament to watch”
JK: “Wish LG didn’t talk about Tiger so damn much. Oh, wait, it’s Arnold Palmer handing a trophy to Tiger Woods…that’s pretty cool.”

Valero Texas Open
LG: “uhhh… not sure who to pick for fantasy golf for this one”
JK: “Alright amateurs….here’s your chance!”

Shell Houston Open
LG: “I love that this tournament basically admits that people only care about the Masters next week”
JK: “If you missed last week, here’s your chance again!”

The Masters
LG: “Best week of the year”
JK: “I have no words for how happy I am right now.”

RBC Heritage (Harbour Town)
LG: “I’m still talking about how awesome the Masters was this year”  This tournament should be moved to attract a better field because this venue is amazing and somewhat unique for the TOUR.
JK: “Jim Furyk’s revenge. I’m with LG–this is a neat venue. I wish it was more isolated from the big tournaments.”

Zurich Classic of New Orleans
LG: “Meet the second/third first time winner of the year”
JK: “Bubba and a bunch of guys you’ve never heard of. Guess who’s gunna win?”

WGC – Match Play
LG: “One of the coolest tournaments of the year… Also, one of the best gambling opportunities of the year for golf fans”
JK: “Cool to review on ESPN. Horrible to watch in real time.”

The Players (TPC Sawgrass)
LG: “Pete Dye abuses the PGA TOUR – no one wins this tournament”
JK: “THE MOST DIFFICULT PAR 3 ON TOUR! NO, SERIOUSLY, WE’RE GOING TO TELL YOU THIS 1 MILLION TIMES UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT. (btw, it’s not)”

Wells Fargo Championship (Quail Hollow)
LG: “I’m still reeling from the Players”
JK: “F – U Wells Fargo!”

Crown Plaza Invitational at Colonial
LG: “Cool venue, but im probably not going to watch the weekend unless Rory or Tiger are in contention”
JK: “Fun to watch how much Zach Johnson’s swing looks like Ben Hogan’s in still frame and how diametrically opposed Zach Johnson’s game is from Ben Hogan’s.”

AT&T Byron Nelson Championship
LG: “An “important” tournament, but same answer as Colonial”
JK: “Too bad this has become what it is. They never would’ve let it be like this while Byron was alive. Makes you wonder what will happen for Arnie’s and Jack’s when they pass on.”

The Memorial
LG: “Jack’s place – also pretty much the only reason to go to Ohio ever”
JK: “Incredible golf course. Amazing field. Not worth watching until Sunday.”

FedEx St. Jude Classic
LG: “I’m running out of clever ways to say that someone new wins this tournament”
JK: “Robert. Garrigus.”

U.S. Open
LG: “Golf is hard”
JK: “I hate the USGA.”

Travelers Championship
LG: “I’m not even sure I can watch golf after the U.S. Open”
JK: “this is a tournament?”

CVS Caremark Charity Classic
LG: “I didn’t know there was a tour event in Rhode Island!!”
JK: “can we watch something else besides golf right now?”

The Greenbrier Classic
LG: “Tom Watson comes to mind for some reason”
JK: “Who can get out of West Virginia the fastest. GO!”

John Deere Classic
LG: “Steve Stricker teaches the TOUR how to putt”
JK: “-27 finishes second here.”

Barbasol Championship (RTJ Grand National)
LG: “Like the name of its sponsor, this tournament is taking a back seat to the premium product”
JK: “BARBASOL! BARBASOL! BARBASOL!”

The Open Championship
LG: “Golf isn’t fair, but damn it’s fun”
JK: “Let’s let the weather decide who’s going to win one of the four most important tournaments of the year.”

RBC Canadian Open
LG: “Tiger hit a crazy good 6 iron here once”
JK: “It’s Peter LeFleur.”

Quicken Loans National
LG: “I think there’s one more major left this year?”
JK: “TIGER’S TOURNAMENT. Wait, wasn’t that the thing at Sherwood? Why does Tiger have two tournaments?”

Barracuda Championship
LG: “Seriously, I thought there was another major??”
JK: “PGA meets Web.com Tour”

WGC – Bridgestone
LG: “Tiger’s third win of the year – I’m actually surprised when he doesn’t win this one”
JK: “Tiger emerges from the ashes of injury and self-denial to lap the field, shooting -20 to the next best score of +9”

PGA Championship
LG: “It’s a major…I’m watching.”
JK: “The most boring major in golf…except all five LPGA majors.”

Wyndham Championship
LG: “Arjun Atwal won this tournament once”
JK: “go watch football”

The Barclays
LG: “THE PLAYOFFS!”
JK: “sweet tournament. Fun field.”

Deutsche Bank Championship
LG: “I still don’t understand the point system…”
JK: “boston. the most confusing tournament of the year.”

BMW Championship
LG: “Steve Sands spends an inordinate amount of time going through various scenarios about who can win the FedEx Cup”
JK: “Look, if you finish well here, you’re awesome.”

The TOUR Championship (East Lake)
LG: “Screw it, whoever wins wins it all” (Also, classic venue and great tournament)
JK: “oh, shit. golf is almost over. Hey, I put 3 balls in that lake on the sixth hole, remember LG?”

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