Fail of the Week 5

July 11, 2011

This week’s fail of the week goes to John Daly/Big JD/The Lion/the skinny Lion/that guy shooting in the 80s. At the John Deere Classic last week, Daly recorded a 13 on a par 4. I’ve been playing golf a long time; I’ve never put a 13 on the card.

“I heeled it really bad way right, and I really was hoping they wouldn’t find it so I’d have to go back to the tee,” Daly said. “Because I got stuck on my first approach when they did find it, I’m going how can I get it left so I can take an unplayable, because where it was there I would have to go all the way to the maintenance shed, which would probably be out of bounds.

“So I hit it a couple times and then took an unplayable, couldn’t get it out, hit it again, took an unplayable, couldn’t get it out. Then I got it far enough left that I could drop, you know, and then get in the bunker and two-putted for a 13.”

It’s at this point that the reporters missed a golden opportunity to ask the Lion–“how in the world are you a professional at this?”

Daly is a major championship winner and a lovable icon on the PGA Tour. Many fans want to see him succeed because he has done so much. But Daly’s antics have become a blight on the tour. For example, Daly’s interview a few years back while playing golf without a shirt…[[WARNING!!!!]]

More importantly, Daly was the one who proved that the last person to make it in the field is capable of winning the tournament when he won the PGA Championship at Crooked Stick. Had Nick Price not dropped out of the tournament, we may never have heard of John Daly. When he shows up to tournaments like this, he keeps one player out who would have qualified otherwise. As a competitive golfer, I know how hard it is to “make it.” I can’t imagine being the last guy out so that John Daly could get a sponser’s exemption only to watch him shoot 81 with a 13 on a par 4.

So, to you, John Daly–we love you, but you are this week’s FAIL.

Read more, including a picture showing all of Daly’s shots:

Fail of the Week 4

June 8, 2011

This week’s FAIL is the state of golf. Currently, the game has never been less intriguing, and the reason is that we haven’t seen the dominance of the players we like and root for. Tiger has been out of contention in most tournaments (or just out of them), Phil hasn’t played well, and the big boys who made so much noise last year (DJ, Bubba) have been very quiet this year.

Don’t get me wrong, Luke Donald is a fine player. He’s currently #1 in the world rankings (which makes no sense because he hasn’t won a major, but, whatever, that’s the case). He plays measured, consistent golf and deserves the money and publicity he gets. But it really speaks to the current state of the game when THIS is what the #1 player in the world looks like:

The #1 player in the world should look like a champion. This guy looks like a pack of watermelon gum. It would be one thing if this were a rare moment, but, unfortunately, I think he might’ve borrowed his wardrobe from Ian Poulter.


My grandmother wouldn’t wear that shade of pink, much less in pants. And to pair it with a black shirt–at Harbour Towne, no less–you’re asking for trouble.

Don’t get me wrong; I like pink, when used appropriately. But, this is not appropriate. This just speaks to the state of golf. If you asked 100 people on the street who the top 3 golfers in the world were, none of them could tell you Donald, Westwood, and Kaymer in that order. Yet that’s what we have.

It’s sad, but the most in-your-face and recognizable American golfer we have is Rickie Fowler. Can anyone explain this? I mean, seriously? This is what people want to see?

Here’s Rickie Fowler looking like a prison inmate:

Here’s Rickie Fowler dressed like a grape popsickle:

Here’s Rickie Fowler’s award wardrobe for selling the most Mary Kay:

Moreover, news came out yesterday that Tiger will not be playing in the US Open, and his absence from golf is putting a further decline on the popularity of the game.

Tim Finchem, please, do something. Fast. Otherwise, you’ll be losing more than just the casual fan.

For a photo of Ian Poulter’s ungodly obsession with the color pink, see Warning, too shockingly pink for the PF. Proceed at your own risk

Fail of the Week 3

May 26, 2011

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how good you are; you fail. So, with great rumination, this week’s FAIL goes to LG.

LG, our PF readers have to ask: where are you? Of the last 11 posts, only 2 were authored by LG: FAIL 1, authored 4/30/2011, and Tip of the Cap (in honor of Seve Ballesteros), authored 5/7/2011. Now (5/26/2011, btw), I could be understanding and not crucify our comrade for burning the midnight (and early morning) oil in patent litigation, but….seriously dude. Our readers love your work–your course review on Pebble Beach is our highest rated post. The PF needs you. I can show them how to sand down a putter, but, seriously, how many of them are actually going to do that?

So, to you, LG, I salute you with FAIL 3.

Maybe this way I can get you to contribute with a response….or something

Fail of the Week 2

May 6, 2011

With the popularity of our Fail of the Week (FAIL) 1, I present to you, this week’s epic FAIL. This week’s FAIL focuses on Rashard Mendenhall, runningback for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

It all started with the labor negotiations. Many eyes raised when Mendenhall compared NFL players to slave trade:

“Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other”

Of course, in his wisdom, Mendenhall ignored the fact that slaves were physically beaten and oppressed–not to mention unpaid–while he earns more in a year than I probably will in my career. But, of course, when you’re stupid, you’re stupid.

Many wrote this off as a dumb comment–or, perhaps, were too cowardly to comment, given that this country has a hard time dealing with race relations. But Mendhenhall now has drawn the ire of the whole country. In an amazing day in American democracy–the subject of this week’s POTW–the villain of the worst disaster in American history was taken down by Navy Seals. Osama bin Laden, the pursuit of the world’s armies for the past decade, was shot in a firefight early this week.

Football players are known for doing some pretty stupid stuff. But sometimes, it’s just disturbing to find out what’s rolling around in their heads. Following bin Laden’s reported death, Mendenhall felt the need to tweet…

Stupid tweet #1:
“What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side…”

Stupid tweet #2:
“We’ll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style”

Let me explain to you, Rashard, how the people of this country can HATE a man they’ve “never heard speak.” He killed 4,000 of us. That’s all I need to know to HATE him. And while I don’t think it’s good for our country to relish the death of anyone, I cannot deny that bin Laden needed to die, if for no other reason than he was our sworn enemy.

But, looking to Stupid Tweet #2, I have to say that you need to quit football and check into a mental health institution as soon as possible. You have obviously taken far too many hits to the head. Have you not seen the videos?

I’m looking forward to the signs in the audience when you’re in Baltimore. The 8 road games this year are going to be fun; I wonder if the fans will chant “TERRORIST, TERRORIST, TERRORIST” for you.

You probably should leave the tweeting to the professionals.

So, to you Rashard: you are an epic failure.

Fail of the Week 1

April 30, 2011

As an appropriate counterpart to our ever popular “POTW,” we humbly introduce the Fail of the Week.

In his Nationwide Tour Debut, Former Atlanta Braves Pitcher John Smoltz missed the cut at the South Georgia Classic by, not 1, not 2, not 3, but 27 strokes.  He backed up his opening round of 84 with a gentleman’s 87.  Sorry, John, but they count all the strokes out on the tour.